Waiting for the big BOOM!

I got very discouraged with the blogging thing for awhile.  I feel the need to write something.  I believe the real reason for this is that my last post was about me losing a case.  I have since won a cajillion cases since then!  Yeah.  That's right.  A cajillion.  

Lots of interesting stories.  One guy perped on a little baby girl, and it felt good to put that guy away.  I got burned on a couple of things by the defense attorney but I learned a lot.  I'm getting a new PD assigned to my area and I like him quite a bit.  He seems very straight forward.  I must admit though that I was never one for a challenge.  I don't really play video games and when I do I put them on the easy and invincible and unlimited ammo settings.  I want to win and relax!  When I watch my sports team play I don't want an "exciting" game.  I want my team to crush the opposition!  I want them humiliated.  I have the same wishes at trial.  I don't want to go up against competent counsel!  I want to crush the opposition!!!

This last part is kind of a joke.

One interesting bit of news about being a prosecutor in Alaska right now is that we're all awaiting the impending volcanic eruption of Mt. Redoubt!  My office manager is frantic.  She thinks we live in Pompei and that they'll excavate our office in a thousand years and find our shapes perfectly preserved in little ash pockets!  We have to cover all our computers and they even have masks.

I lived through a couple of other eruptions and we got some ash that fell like snow.  Excluding babies, the elderly and those with asthma, it was more interesting that a nuisance.  I'd rather deal with that than tornadoes, hurricanes or earthquakes...wait we have those too.  And maybe I wouldn't mind an occasional hurricane if it meant that I lived someplace really warm and by the ocean...

Anyway, I'm not huddled in the bunker just yet.  It sure is exciting when you live in the coldest (except when you're next to the active volcanoes) State!!

I Always Have My Family!

Although I'm encouraged to write on this blog by my beautiful and wise wife (who is an ever increasingly prolific "mommy-blogger"), I find that I am not always motivated to do so.  I am most likely to write when I lose a case.... Hence the infrequent posts:)  But I lost a bench trial today.  That is when both sides agree to let a judge hear the case without a jury.  Presumably the judge knows the law and won't get sidetracked by stupid issues.  I should have gone with a jury!!!

Anyway the case was very minor and when I was done I called home to vent.  My 4 year old answered the phone.  

Her:  "Hi Daddy!  It's me!"

Me: Hi hun.  Is Mommy there?

Her:  She's busy right now.  Daddy?  Have you had a bad day?

Me:  Yeah.  Daddy is kind of having a bad day.  I lost my case today.

Her (in most sympathetic little girl tone):  Ohhhhh!  But don't worry Daddy, you'll find it                                                                                         tomorrow!

Is that not the cutest thing you've ever heard?  She is so literal but sooo sincere.  It made me laugh and cry a little.   I really needed that.

Ahh, Delightful Revenge

My Alaskan Prosecutor has ceased writing on his blog, so now I'm writing something for him.

We were talking the other day about kids who use other kids for their "super cool stuff."

My mom remembered a certain friend of my brother's, we'll call him Nick.  He was one of those kids.  He was always coming over, borrowing things that were never returned and just being a little a**hole.  I mentioned that my prosecutor husband had seen him several times.

Nick was one of the few people that he didn't get along with in high school.  Everyone liked my husband, he really got along with everyone, except this Nick punk and some of his friends.  It wasn't too much of a problem since Nick was several grades behind us but there were a few incidents between them that I'm sure they both remember.

So, one day, my prosecutor man gets a file with this kids name on it.  He's partly happy and partly not knowing what he should do with it.

He goes to his boss and the conversation goes something like this:

Husband - "I know this guy."

Boss - "How?"

Husband - "We went to the same high school."

Boss, "Is he a buddy of yours?"

"No, he's about the closest thing that I had to an enemy at that time in my life."

Boss - "Go to the court and enjoy every minute of it."

And he did.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

I just got my butt handed to me in a trial today.  (Don't get used to it defense attorneys, it doesn't happen all that often!)  So as a healing measure I'll go through another story in a case where I handed someone else theirs.

My last trial had a recording that needed to be played.  The Alaska courts can't actually buy DVD players with the 3 billion dollar surplus in the State's budget so they rely on the parties to provide the equipment to play whatever they want played.  So the jury in the case wanted to hear a playback of the tape.  In order to accomplish this the court tried and failed and so asked me to bring in my laptop.

When I say "my" laptop I just mean the ancient paperweight that our office has.  I hold all the high scores on all the games on it though so I feel that it is mine.  But for most of the time I do not have this computer.  I also did not put the screensaver on it or the background etc....

So I set up the computer and left so the jury could listen.  The clerk later told me that they all huddled around the computer and that about 10 minutes into the tape they all began to laugh.  The clerk didn't think that the subject was particularly funny.  She inquired.

The jury asked if this was a court laptop.  The clerk told them "no" it is the DA's.  "That figures," they said and turned the screen around.  Apparently the screensaver was set to little words...

GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!!! marched all over the screen.  

I lost today but I won that one.  Tonight I will go to bed frustrated, worried that they didn't like me, that I forgot something crucial, and on and on.  But I am satisfied with the crestfallen looks on the jurors faces when they found out all that was excluded and that it would have changed things.  I will also know that I was on the side of justice and that I can go to bed again tonight like every night with a clear conscience!  

Ice Road District Attorney

Well I promised that there'd be some pictures the next time I posted.  It's along drive out to my bush destination but I get to see sights like this!  How many people get to drive by a couple of glaciers on their way to work?  A picture just can't do it justice.  And about global warming...this glacier did used to be a lot bigger when I came there as a kid!
This is the view outside my hotel.  This is why I drive and don't fly.  The little puddle-jumpers don't fly in this and I can be trapped there away from home for days.  At least with the car I can take my life in my own hands and make a break for it.
My out of town office is kind of cool.  It has those big heavy doors that used to have the frosted glass above.  There is an outer office that you have to walk through.  I picture "Sam Spade Private Investigator" on the door and a secretary that I can call "dollface".  (I love old movies)  But that gives you an idea of the feel of the place.
I am not there often so not really decorated.  I basically put up a bunch of marine charts/maps.
This is the road in good shape.  That is a snow plow barreling towards me at 60mph and yes I took this photo while barreling towards him!  I will often try to follow one of the plows out of town and over the mountain pass.  The snow falls so heavy and fast and the drifts also replace the snow very quickly.  Much of the time I'm driving entirely on ice.  Here you can at least see some of the lines.

Is it Wrong to Cry at Sentencing?

Gallows humor and cynicism get us through a lot. We don't forget that we're talking about real people and not just cases though. The proof is that we do what we do. But, after mocking (lovingly) one of my colleagues who had cried at a sentencing, I did it today. I sat with a mother who had lost her son due to the activities of a group of people who he thought were his friends. The thing is I get it. I'm a dad now. There can be nothing worse than that. You should not have to outlive your children. Period. She cried...I cried.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Recently, some of my friends from the office have left to go do private practice. Two are doing criminal defense work and one wants to do civil work but informed me that he "has to pay the bills" so he'll be doing defense too. Aside from being sad to see them go they have left an absolute crapload of work to do.

I have sworn that I cannot do defense work personally. If you are honest and true then I respect it blah, blah, blah. But it comes down to the fact that you are in a job then that requires you to lie. (Constructively) But I watch these guys starting to make money. And where as I'm stuck doing all my work and their former work too I think "if I were working for myself then if I didn't want more work then I'd just not take it." Plus, "how are these guys making so frickin' much money so easy?"

To all criminals: Barring some crazy issue (which I know you think you have but you don't) or an incredibly complicated trial (94% of cases plead out) they are not earning that money you paid.

Now I'm just generalizing here but you review a police report. You see it's pretty straight-forward. You tell the DA your guy is really good and will never do this again and he's in treatment and his father is really sick, etc. You pick up a piece of paper from the DA with an offer for the mandatory minimums that every first timer gets and give it to your client triumphantly telling them that they were looking at a possible year and 10 grand but you whiddled it down to 3 days! You're amazing! You're the best attorney that soccer mom or CPA has ever seen! Here's $2000 bucks! All in all a pretty good payout for 30 minutes of work.

I must be crazy. But I knew I'd never make any money doing this and I chose it anyway. I sure miss my freinds and I don't look forward to kicking their butts in trial - but I'll do what I must:)