Alaskan Prosecutor

Waiting for the big BOOM!

2009-02-06T20:23:00.002-09:00

I got very discouraged with the blogging thing for awhile. I feel the need to write something. I believe the real reason for this is that my last post was about me losing a case. I have since won a cajillion cases since then! Yeah. That's right. A cajillion.

Lots of interesting stories. One guy perped on a little baby girl, and it felt good to put that guy away. I got burned on a couple of things by the defense attorney but I learned a lot. I'm getting a new PD assigned to my area and I like him quite a bit. He seems very straight forward. I must admit though that I was never one for a challenge. I don't really play video games and when I do I put them on the easy and invincible and unlimited ammo settings. I want to win and relax! When I watch my sports team play I don't want an "exciting" game. I want my team to crush the opposition! I want them humiliated. I have the same wishes at trial. I don't want to go up against competent counsel! I want to crush the opposition!!!

This last part is kind of a joke.

One interesting bit of news about being a prosecutor in Alaska right now is that we're all awaiting the impending volcanic eruption of Mt. Redoubt! My office manager is frantic. She thinks we live in Pompei and that they'll excavate our office in a thousand years and find our shapes perfectly preserved in little ash pockets! We have to cover all our computers and they even have masks.

I lived through a couple of other eruptions and we got some ash that fell like snow. Excluding babies, the elderly and those with asthma, it was more interesting that a nuisance. I'd rather deal with that than tornadoes, hurricanes or earthquakes...wait we have those too. And maybe I wouldn't mind an occasional hurricane if it meant that I lived someplace really warm and by the ocean...

Anyway, I'm not huddled in the bunker just yet. It sure is exciting when you live in the coldest (except when you're next to the active volcanoes) State!!

I Always Have My Family!

2008-06-27T20:14:00.002-08:00

Although I'm encouraged to write on this blog by my beautiful and wise wife (who is an ever increasingly prolific "mommy-blogger"), I find that I am not always motivated to do so. I am most likely to write when I lose a case.... Hence the infrequent posts:) But I lost a bench trial today. That is when both sides agree to let a judge hear the case without a jury. Presumably the judge knows the law and won't get sidetracked by stupid issues. I should have gone with a jury!!!

Anyway the case was very minor and when I was done I called home to vent. My 4 year old answered the phone.

Her: "Hi Daddy! It's me!"

Me: Hi hun. Is Mommy there?

Her: She's busy right now. Daddy? Have you had a bad day?

Me: Yeah. Daddy is kind of having a bad day. I lost my case today.

Her (in most sympathetic little girl tone): Ohhhhh! But don't worry Daddy, you'll find it tomorrow!

Is that not the cutest thing you've ever heard? She is so literal but sooo sincere. It made me laugh and cry a little. I really needed that.

Ahh, Delightful Revenge

2008-06-22T20:00:00.003-08:00

My Alaskan Prosecutor has ceased writing on his blog, so now I'm writing something for him.

We were talking the other day about kids who use other kids for their "super cool stuff."

My mom remembered a certain friend of my brother's, we'll call him Nick. He was one of those kids. He was always coming over, borrowing things that were never returned and just being a little a**hole. I mentioned that my prosecutor husband had seen him several times.

Nick was one of the few people that he didn't get along with in high school. Everyone liked my husband, he really got along with everyone, except this Nick punk and some of his friends. It wasn't too much of a problem since Nick was several grades behind us but there were a few incidents between them that I'm sure they both remember.

So, one day, my prosecutor man gets a file with this kids name on it. He's partly happy and partly not knowing what he should do with it.

He goes to his boss and the conversation goes something like this:

Husband - "I know this guy."

Boss - "How?"

Husband - "We went to the same high school."

Boss, "Is he a buddy of yours?"

"No, he's about the closest thing that I had to an enemy at that time in my life."

Boss - "Go to the court and enjoy every minute of it."

And he did.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

2008-02-25T19:23:00.003-09:00

I just got my butt handed to me in a trial today. (Don't get used to it defense attorneys, it doesn't happen all that often!) So as a healing measure I'll go through another story in a case where I handed someone else theirs.

My last trial had a recording that needed to be played. The Alaska courts can't actually buy DVD players with the 3 billion dollar surplus in the State's budget so they rely on the parties to provide the equipment to play whatever they want played. So the jury in the case wanted to hear a playback of the tape. In order to accomplish this the court tried and failed and so asked me to bring in my laptop.

When I say "my" laptop I just mean the ancient paperweight that our office has. I hold all the high scores on all the games on it though so I feel that it is mine. But for most of the time I do not have this computer. I also did not put the screensaver on it or the background etc....

So I set up the computer and left so the jury could listen. The clerk later told me that they all huddled around the computer and that about 10 minutes into the tape they all began to laugh. The clerk didn't think that the subject was particularly funny. She inquired.

The jury asked if this was a court laptop. The clerk told them "no" it is the DA's. "That figures," they said and turned the screen around. Apparently the screensaver was set to little words...

GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!!! marched all over the screen.

I lost today but I won that one. Tonight I will go to bed frustrated, worried that they didn't like me, that I forgot something crucial, and on and on. But I am satisfied with the crestfallen looks on the jurors faces when they found out all that was excluded and that it would have changed things. I will also know that I was on the side of justice and that I can go to bed again tonight like every night with a clear conscience!

Ice Road District Attorney

2008-02-14T20:08:00.003-09:00

Well I promised that there'd be some pictures the next time I posted. It's along drive out to my bush destination but I get to see sights like this! How many people get to drive by a couple of glaciers on their way to work? A picture just can't do it justice. And about global warming...this glacier did used to be a lot bigger when I came there as a kid!
This is the view outside my hotel. This is why I drive and don't fly. The little puddle-jumpers don't fly in this and I can be trapped there away from home for days. At least with the car I can take my life in my own hands and make a break for it.
My out of town office is kind of cool. It has those big heavy doors that used to have the frosted glass above. There is an outer office that you have to walk through. I picture "Sam Spade Private Investigator" on the door and a secretary that I can call "dollface". (I love old movies) But that gives you an idea of the feel of the place.
I am not there often so not really decorated. I basically put up a bunch of marine charts/maps.
This is the road in good shape. That is a snow plow barreling towards me at 60mph and yes I took this photo while barreling towards him! I will often try to follow one of the plows out of town and over the mountain pass. The snow falls so heavy and fast and the drifts also replace the snow very quickly. Much of the time I'm driving entirely on ice. Here you can at least see some of the lines.

Is it Wrong to Cry at Sentencing?

2007-12-12T18:26:00.000-09:00

Gallows humor and cynicism get us through a lot. We don't forget that we're talking about real people and not just cases though. The proof is that we do what we do. But, after mocking (lovingly) one of my colleagues who had cried at a sentencing, I did it today. I sat with a mother who had lost her son due to the activities of a group of people who he thought were his friends. The thing is I get it. I'm a dad now. There can be nothing worse than that. You should not have to outlive your children. Period. She cried...I cried.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

2007-12-10T20:16:00.000-09:00

Recently, some of my friends from the office have left to go do private practice. Two are doing criminal defense work and one wants to do civil work but informed me that he "has to pay the bills" so he'll be doing defense too. Aside from being sad to see them go they have left an absolute crapload of work to do.

I have sworn that I cannot do defense work personally. If you are honest and true then I respect it blah, blah, blah. But it comes down to the fact that you are in a job then that requires you to lie. (Constructively) But I watch these guys starting to make money. And where as I'm stuck doing all my work and their former work too I think "if I were working for myself then if I didn't want more work then I'd just not take it." Plus, "how are these guys making so frickin' much money so easy?"

To all criminals: Barring some crazy issue (which I know you think you have but you don't) or an incredibly complicated trial (94% of cases plead out) they are not earning that money you paid.

Now I'm just generalizing here but you review a police report. You see it's pretty straight-forward. You tell the DA your guy is really good and will never do this again and he's in treatment and his father is really sick, etc. You pick up a piece of paper from the DA with an offer for the mandatory minimums that every first timer gets and give it to your client triumphantly telling them that they were looking at a possible year and 10 grand but you whiddled it down to 3 days! You're amazing! You're the best attorney that soccer mom or CPA has ever seen! Here's $2000 bucks! All in all a pretty good payout for 30 minutes of work.

I must be crazy. But I knew I'd never make any money doing this and I chose it anyway. I sure miss my freinds and I don't look forward to kicking their butts in trial - but I'll do what I must:)

How do you spend 4.6 BILLION dollars?

2007-12-07T18:57:00.000-09:00

The governor of Alaska has asked Alaskans how do we spend the above mentioned surplus? Well it just so happens that I have some ideas...

I want to keep this sight fairly non-political but... Since every Alaskan gets the dividend check every year, the idea giving everyone a big check is already covered. Plus we don't pay state tax, so that's already done. I would say let's fix our schools and have the best social programs of any state in the country, but apparently that is just imossible, even when you have the money to do it. I know, it's depressing.

So, how about a raise for State Attorneys? Now most people may not say, "oh yeah. Won't someone please think of our strugling lawyers?!" Let me just say somthing.

I get paid for a 37.5 hour work week. That is a joke. I don't know an attorney in my line of work that works that paltry amount. 50 hours is closer (for an average.) Drive by my office and see that there are always people there on the weekend after that average 50 hr week. So really you're not really giving us a raise by paying a 40 hr week, but we'll take it. That's fair huh? We also like the idea that most other states do of paying bar dues of State attorneys. We pay 600 dollars a year for the privilege of working in the State but we don't charge our "clients" for it.

So I am having a hard time telling my family why we still eat like I'm in college. But when you're six figures in debt and you make less than half that and have a house, car, food, bills, and KIDS, most of us still live paycheck to paycheck. "Why do we have such a high turn-over? How come we can't keep attorneys with more than 5 years experience?" Let me think.

Sometimes I get to rant. This is the beauty of the blog. But I must go. My family is setting up our Christmas tree and it is looking distinctly like a Clark Griswold Christmas.

Trial in the Bush

2007-12-01T18:07:00.000-09:00

Since the last post was about the joy of my "bush" or extra rural duties I thought I'd write another post about that. Probably has more to do with the fact that I'm just getting back from a week out there in trial. Next time I'll remember to take a camera because it really is beautiful.

Well my calender for the week had over 100 cases. Although it seems like cases never really move but are only continued in an endless stack through to eternity, we resolved (in one way, shape or form) just over 30. Several were set for trial.

In theory I should be the one that puts my foot down and puts a stop to all those needless continuances that defense attorneys ask for. I highly suspect they hope that they can continue the cases out so long that all the victims and witnesses die and the police are retired and in Florida. But occasionally they will get a client who has a borderline personality (ie. a*#hole). This client will know his rights and that he is wrongfully accused etc. Fortunately these are often the most clearly guilty people.

Without getting into details...this one was scaring young teens and preteens in the town by being very vulgar, propositioning and groping them too. Bring it on I said.

Well it really isn't the most fun staying in a hotel. Plus I really am a family guy and miss them when I'm gone for any amount of time. Also, this ain't a resort you know. It's basically a Super 8 and is considered pretty darn fancy. (No offense Super 8) So there is my home for awhile and I'm 300 miles away from my real home. I forgot to mention that. 300 miles away.

Well I realized that I have about 14 witnesses to get in line for trial. I have a day and half. They are all kids and are all in school and their parents work. I have no help by way of a secretary or paralegal. And to top it all off...these girls don't want to testify. So I spend the time I have meeting with kids and their parents to reassure both. I arrange meetings at houses and restaurants and my office. Anyplace. I beg people. I threaten people (you have a court order). I guilt people (basically "I hope you're happy when you read that he's raped some kid this time!"). Oh and one of my witnesses was in jail - 450 miles away.

It all worked. These kids were all brave. They were amazing. I saw one 15 year old girl destroy a veteran defense attorney. I saw these kids sit in front of this scary man, literally 15-20 ft away and have to point him out and say these things in front of strangers. Even worse sometimes is that because this is such a small community, a lot of the jurors were not strangers to these kids.

The jury was out for about an hour. That's fast for a 10 count case where one is a sexual assault. It is their community and they spoke for it. The system; boring, often unfair, majorly unrealistic, painful, scary and humiliating...worked. Again. It's not perfect but neither are people.

Life in a (Smaller) Northen Town

2007-11-20T21:50:00.000-09:00

So although I am a prosecutor in a small Alaska town I am still one of many. However I am also responsible for yet another smaller town and surrounding villages. We call this a "bush"
assignment and at least I don't have to say I'm an assistant DA there but the DA. I travel there one to two times a month and if I drive its about 5 hours. That is a long time...so I tend to speed...

Now I haven't got a ticket since I was 16. But on my second to last trip I got busted going through a town midway to my town. You may think that I would have nothing to fear but the pucker factor was still pretty high.

To get the full story...I used to be a cop. My police in the bush are great and I get to go shooting with them when I go down there. So I had recently purchased this junker gun at a police auction and took it with me. I blasted a lot of little cardboard people and had them in the front passenger seat on the floor. So the Trooper pulls me over and I'm embarrassed. I think at least I know all the Troopers in this area...and then a female Trooper gets out of the car. This is news to me.

I say hi. And sorry. She has noticed that I am in a State car and have boxes of ammo and dead cardboard people everywhere. "Been shootin?" she asks. "Yeah. I go with the cops," I say. She nods, looking like she can't decide if she should draw her weapon and await backup. I explain where I'm coming from. All the while I'm thinking if I tell her who I am will it seem like I'm expecting to get out of a ticket? Will I get fired? For speeding?

She finally can't take it. "Who the hell are you?" I explain. I tell her I'm mortified. Please write me a ticket. She doesn't know that I actually slowed down about 20 miles out of her town. She gives me a warning. She told me she didn't want to run State plates before.

So whew. About 4 other cops have ribbed me for getting pulled over. Now Alaska is a big place. They work hundreds of miles away from this Trooper but the story is out. The problem for me is now in the story I'm going such a crazy rate of speed as to be impossible in the State car. I've heard other variations on my driving that day. A couple of weeks later I was "on call", a lovely time that I'm glued to a phone all day and night whenever the police need help or to ask a question, etc. My new Trooper friend calls and my wife answers. "This is Trooper ____. I recently met your husband passing through town."

The last time I went to the bush I flew.

Intro to Alaskan Prosecutor

2007-11-19T19:58:00.000-09:00

This is my initial posting to make sure that I'm doing this right. I have succombed to temptation as I have watched my wife become a blog-her.

I am a prosecutor in a small town and have been for a couple of years. My wife said it best when she said that I didn't go to law school to be an attorney but to be a prosecutor. I do love my job and feel like I get to "wear the white hat" but that doesn't mean that I can't complain (and laugh) about the joys of government work and the delightful people that I work around. (This is meant to be both true and extremely sarcastic.)

Having said all that, I don't think that I am your "typical" kill em' all and lot God sort em out guy. Nor do I think that is a typical prosecutor. I write this because I love it. I write it because when I watch those dumbest criminal things I frequently think "that's nothin'!" I want to preserve some of these memories and I'm just too lazy to keep a journal. I also hope to meet others who do what I do and other interesting folks. So we'll see.

The challenges and joys of this rare job are sometimes funny and often heart rendingly sad. It's real life for a lot of people...good guys, bad guys, victims, criminals....it's not that easy.